Post by thehush on May 5, 2006 11:21:52 GMT -5
I don't know that the formatting came out right, so if not I apologize.
This is the script for issue 1 of The Untold. The cover and interior art will be done by Louis Manna ( www.louismanna.com ), whose resume includes work on Spiderman, House of Secrets, House of Mystery, Legion of Super Heroes and The Phantom: Valley of the Golden Men with Tom DeFalco. He is also the mind behind the creator-owned Salem St. James.
So, read and enjoy. Cadre Corner is the only forum I am posting the script in its entirety. If you want to read it all, great! If not, wait for the book! Either way, this is my way of saying thanks for working so hard to keep the comic community growing and alive.
~Devon
Note: there appears to be a profanity filter that makes some of the dialogue seem a little .... odd. Sorry.
The Untold
Along Came A Spider, Part 1 of 4
PAGE 1
1. We're inside what was once a very, very nice house. Furniture is overturned all over the place, a coffee table is smashed, there's a hole in the ceiling of the room. Some drapes are on fire, and maybe part of the wall is burning too. We see Melissa throwing herself out of the way as a huge man punches through the wall, sending bits of brick and plaster spraying out all over the place. Through some of the debris we can see a few steel rebars sticking out of the wall now.
The man's skin is charred from fire, his clothes are strained from increased bulk, part of his clothing is burned away and a few spots still have little flames. Tufts of hair are missing. The man's face is in a furious looking grimace from the power he put into the punch.
2. Melissa lands against an overturned couch.
3. Melissa sprays her left hand down with bug spray. Our view should be blocked so we can't see too much beyond Melissa
4. Melissa comes up ready to throw a punch with her left hand.
5. Close up on the rather confused Melissa. A quizzical look marks her face.
PAGE 2
1. Overhead shot of Melissa looking up as the man drops down on her from above.
2. Melissa takes a short hop back, her left hand is hauled back and she's about to throw a punch. The man lands on the couch, just in front of her, perfectly balanced on it.
3. Melissa brings her left hand around and connects it with the man's eye.
4. The man hits the ground next to the couch. Melissa is already coming towards him, not willing to waste her momentary advantage.
PAGE 3
1. The man has rolled over onto all fours, facing Melissa. His mouth is open REALLY REALLY REALLY WIDE! We see spider jaws inside his mouth, with nasty looking spider fangs sticking down. The eye Melissa punched is swollen shut and bleeding.
2. This obviously surprised Melissa and she recoils in surprise. The man is in mid leap towards her, coming over the couch.
3. Melissa instinctively throws another punch, connecting with the other eye. This should obviously be a desperate swing, not like the controlled strikes from before. We see a little spray of blood. The motion should direct the man's head towards the wall he punched out earlier, and we should have a brief glimpse of the bars sticking out the wall, though nothing overt.
PAGE 4
1. Melissa has just delivered a swift roundhouse kick to the man's head, which we see hitting the wall, or more specifically the man's head is skewered by the metal bars he'd exposed with his earlier punch.
2. The man's body is limp, hanging by the bars through his head. His eyes are rolled up. Melissa is standing in front of him, wiping her forehead on her sleeve.
3. Melissa delivers a swift kick to the limp body.
4. She steps back and pulls out another can of bug spray and a second zippo. This is just one of many signs we'll see of her overzealousness here.
5. Melissa torches the body, disposing of it in a very ignoble manner.
PAGE 5
1. Still night, we're outside now. With trees as far as the eye can see, we're in a very heavily wooded area. We can't even see the sky because of the tree coverage.
The camera is tight on Red, in her trademark red hooded cloak. She's moving quickly through the trees in a very action-movie kind of backwards dash as she fires of a couple rounds from her revolver. Along the side of the revolver's barrel is etched "Grandma's Little Helper." We do not see what she's shooting at.
2. A huge werewolf rushes forward. We can't see Red in this panel, but it should almost look like part of panel 1, just separated down the middle. Something to that effect. We can see points of impact on his body where Red's shots are hitting.
3. Red ducks behind a tree, crouched behind it for cover.
4. Red, ducked behind the tree, reloads her revolver.
PAGE 6
1. The tree shatters as the werewolf's paw rips through it. The impact sends Red flying. We see she's lost her grip on her revolver.
2. Red hits the ground a little ways off from the werewolf. She's reaching out, straining to reach...
3. Her revolver, which landed on the ground under some brush. This should be a small inset panel.
4. The wolf grabs Red by the ankle and...
5. The wolf hurls her upwards. The branches and leaves rustle around her as she goes flying.
PAGE 7
1. Up and out of the tree cover. Red is airborn, just over the tree tops. We can see a city skyline in the distance, suggesting this might be a park, or a nature reserve. There's a big, bright full moon overhead.
2. Red arcs back slightly, trying to turn her uncontrolled ascent into a backflip. Far below we can see the trees, and just outside the trees is a clearing with a rocky ledge. Far below the rocky ledge is a river.
3. Red manages to get ahold of a tree branch as she starts her descent.
4. Red swings down on the tree branch, but we see a crack in the wood. There's a loud SNAP! (sound effect!) from where the branch breaks.
5-7: A series of smaller panels as Red pinballs down, bouncing off branches. It looks painful. The series of panels should end with Red hitting the ground and a bit of a dust cloud poofing up where she lands.
Panels 1 and 2 should be fairly big compared to the rest. 3 should be slightly smaller, followed by 4, then 5-7. This is to create the feeling of passage of time, with 1 and 2 being fairly slow panels. By the time she's falling to the ground, it should be quick actions, and look faster because gravity took hold.
PAGE 8
1. Red picks herself up off the ground. She's surrounded by trees again. She's wiping a bit of blood from her nose. She's covered in dirt and leaves. Give a hint of the werewolf's location in this panel, a slight glimpse of him through the break in the trees.
2. Red takes off at a run towards a break in the trees. We can just barely see the silhouette of the werewolf through the break.
3. We see that the werewolf is standing on the rocky ledge overhanging the river. Red's come out of the trees and is shoulder-checking the wolf in the back.
4. Red must have hit the wolf pretty damn hard, because in this panel we see the two have gained quite a bit of air. Her impact threw the two of them up and off the ledge quite a distance.
PAGE 9
1. The wolf is flailing in an uncontrolled descent. Red is just above him, looking much more in control. This is a chance to play with that whole "superhero cape" thing as she comes down. Her arms are up slightly, her knees tucked a bit. However you want to draw it, she's coming down in control, but the wolf isn't.
2. There's a big splash as the wolf hits the water. Red's just above him.
3. Under the water, we see Red on the back of the wolf.
4. Red wraps her cloak around the wolf's head.
PAGE 10
1-3 There is a fierce struggle between Red at the wolf, but Red won't let go. She keeps her cloak over the wolf's head and holds tight. She's straining to hold her breath. Bubbles coming from under the wolf's head under the cloak suggest he's not doing the same.
4. Red surfaces and gasps for air.
PAGE 11
1. Red pulls herself out of the river. She's soaked, battered, bruised, but alive. We can see the wolf's dead body washing down the river.
2. Red approaches the rocky face that leads up to the ledge and the trees.
3. She begins to climb the rocky face.
4. Red hauls herself up over the ledge.
5. Red walks into the trees.
6. Red retrieves her revolver.
PAGE 12
1. A quaint little coffee shop in a downtown cultural district. It's about mid-day. People are milling about, wasting time and spending money. A guy with a guitar does his street performer thing.
Melissa is seated at a table on the patio of the coffee shop. A big glass window nearby lets us see inside. Melissa's busy watching the cute guitar player. There's a steaming cup of coffee just in front of Melissa.
2. Same as panel 1. A shadow is cast across Melissa from just out of her field of vision. It doesn't have to be behind her, she just shouldn't be able to see who it is.
3. Red sits down in the chair opposite Melissa. Instead of her cloak, she's in a red trenchcoat-like coat.
4. Melissa takes a sip of her coffee.
5. Melissa sets the cup down and raises a brow at Red.
6. Melissa sits back in her chair. She's got a nonchalant attitude, and seems to be blowing the issue off.
PAGE 13
1. Red leans forward with her elbows on the table. She's staring right at Melissa, who is glancing away.
2. Red keeps the same position. Melissa looks back at her.
3. Melissa has her hand around the base of the coffee cup, like she's thinking about picking it up. She stares at it as she speaks.
4. Melissa withdraws her hand, leaving the coffee sitting on the table. Red's still leaning forward, listening to Melissa.
5. Red picks up Melissa's coffee and takes a drink.
PAGE 14
1. Red sets the cup down in front of Melissa
2. Red is leaning on the table again. The elbow of one arm is on the table, but her hand is raised. She's pointing a finger at Melissa.
3. Melissa has stood up and is turning to leave. She has her head lowered. Her lips are twisted down into a frown. She's trying not to look weak, trying not to show that Red has hurt her.
4. Melissa has walked away from the table without a word to Red, and without her coffee. Red is frowning as she watches her friend walk off.
5. Red takes a drink of the coffee.
PAGE 15
1. Establishing shot of a city park at night. A few small, heavily wooded areas dot the landscape. A bike trail runs through the park. There's a lake with a few bridges over narrow streams. The park is surrounded by the city.
2. Two boys are cautiously sneaking off a path, crawling under some low tree branches. One of the boys should be wearing a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. Boy number one glances back at his friend as he pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.
3. The second boy pauses to glance back behind them. His friend is out of view, already gone into the darkness of the tree cover.
4. Satisfied that nobody spotted them, the second boy slips under the branches and into the hiding spot.
5. We're inside a small circle within the trees. The second boy is crawling out from under the branches. He's looking down at the pack of cigarettes, which his hand has landed on.
PAGE 16
This page is a full page shot of the second boy in the process of standing up. We're seeing this from just behind him. His friend is pinned by a large wolf spider, about the size of a large dog. A second spider is overhead in the branches, obviously focused on the second boy. There is a bit of webbing in the branches as well.
What we're going for here is the "moment in time" shot common in thrillers and paranormal mysteries. Rather than the suggestion of motion, this should be a single moment of discovery frozen in time. Just a thought. If you have another take on it, let me know.
PAGE 17
1. Missy is wrapped in a towel in front of a sink and mirror. She's drying her hair with a second towel.
2. Melissa clutches her chest with her right hand. Her right elbow is on the sink counter, barely holding her up. Her left hand is fumbling through one of the drawers below the sink.
3. Close up shot of Melissa's hand going for a syringe and medicine bottle in the drawer. There's some cotton swabs and bandages in there too.
4. Close up on a pained expression on Melissa's face.
6. Melissa is collapsed on the bathroom floor. The drawer is sticking out, pulled down slightly. The toiletries that were on the sink are knocked all over. The syringe is on the floor near her hand. We shouldn't be able to tell for sure if it is full or empty.
PAGES 18+
The following pages will be concept art and promotional material.
The Untold and all related characters are copyright 2006 Devon A. Weir
This is the script for issue 1 of The Untold. The cover and interior art will be done by Louis Manna ( www.louismanna.com ), whose resume includes work on Spiderman, House of Secrets, House of Mystery, Legion of Super Heroes and The Phantom: Valley of the Golden Men with Tom DeFalco. He is also the mind behind the creator-owned Salem St. James.
So, read and enjoy. Cadre Corner is the only forum I am posting the script in its entirety. If you want to read it all, great! If not, wait for the book! Either way, this is my way of saying thanks for working so hard to keep the comic community growing and alive.
~Devon
Note: there appears to be a profanity filter that makes some of the dialogue seem a little .... odd. Sorry.
The Untold
Along Came A Spider, Part 1 of 4
PAGE 1
1. We're inside what was once a very, very nice house. Furniture is overturned all over the place, a coffee table is smashed, there's a hole in the ceiling of the room. Some drapes are on fire, and maybe part of the wall is burning too. We see Melissa throwing herself out of the way as a huge man punches through the wall, sending bits of brick and plaster spraying out all over the place. Through some of the debris we can see a few steel rebars sticking out of the wall now.
The man's skin is charred from fire, his clothes are strained from increased bulk, part of his clothing is burned away and a few spots still have little flames. Tufts of hair are missing. The man's face is in a furious looking grimace from the power he put into the punch.
2. Melissa lands against an overturned couch.
MELISSA
Okay, so fire didn't work.
3. Melissa sprays her left hand down with bug spray. Our view should be blocked so we can't see too much beyond Melissa
4. Melissa comes up ready to throw a punch with her left hand.
MELISSA
How about this!?
5. Close up on the rather confused Melissa. A quizzical look marks her face.
MELISSA
Huh?
PAGE 2
1. Overhead shot of Melissa looking up as the man drops down on her from above.
2. Melissa takes a short hop back, her left hand is hauled back and she's about to throw a punch. The man lands on the couch, just in front of her, perfectly balanced on it.
3. Melissa brings her left hand around and connects it with the man's eye.
4. The man hits the ground next to the couch. Melissa is already coming towards him, not willing to waste her momentary advantage.
PAGE 3
1. The man has rolled over onto all fours, facing Melissa. His mouth is open REALLY REALLY REALLY WIDE! We see spider jaws inside his mouth, with nasty looking spider fangs sticking down. The eye Melissa punched is swollen shut and bleeding.
MAN
SKREEEE!!!!
2. This obviously surprised Melissa and she recoils in surprise. The man is in mid leap towards her, coming over the couch.
MELISSA
What the @#$%!?
3. Melissa instinctively throws another punch, connecting with the other eye. This should obviously be a desperate swing, not like the controlled strikes from before. We see a little spray of blood. The motion should direct the man's head towards the wall he punched out earlier, and we should have a brief glimpse of the bars sticking out the wall, though nothing overt.
PAGE 4
1. Melissa has just delivered a swift roundhouse kick to the man's head, which we see hitting the wall, or more specifically the man's head is skewered by the metal bars he'd exposed with his earlier punch.
2. The man's body is limp, hanging by the bars through his head. His eyes are rolled up. Melissa is standing in front of him, wiping her forehead on her sleeve.
3. Melissa delivers a swift kick to the limp body.
MELISSA
BASTARD!
4. She steps back and pulls out another can of bug spray and a second zippo. This is just one of many signs we'll see of her overzealousness here.
5. Melissa torches the body, disposing of it in a very ignoble manner.
PAGE 5
1. Still night, we're outside now. With trees as far as the eye can see, we're in a very heavily wooded area. We can't even see the sky because of the tree coverage.
The camera is tight on Red, in her trademark red hooded cloak. She's moving quickly through the trees in a very action-movie kind of backwards dash as she fires of a couple rounds from her revolver. Along the side of the revolver's barrel is etched "Grandma's Little Helper." We do not see what she's shooting at.
2. A huge werewolf rushes forward. We can't see Red in this panel, but it should almost look like part of panel 1, just separated down the middle. Something to that effect. We can see points of impact on his body where Red's shots are hitting.
3. Red ducks behind a tree, crouched behind it for cover.
4. Red, ducked behind the tree, reloads her revolver.
RED
Tough son of a....
PAGE 6
1. The tree shatters as the werewolf's paw rips through it. The impact sends Red flying. We see she's lost her grip on her revolver.
RED
...bitch!
2. Red hits the ground a little ways off from the werewolf. She's reaching out, straining to reach...
3. Her revolver, which landed on the ground under some brush. This should be a small inset panel.
4. The wolf grabs Red by the ankle and...
5. The wolf hurls her upwards. The branches and leaves rustle around her as she goes flying.
PAGE 7
1. Up and out of the tree cover. Red is airborn, just over the tree tops. We can see a city skyline in the distance, suggesting this might be a park, or a nature reserve. There's a big, bright full moon overhead.
RED
I always wanted to fly.
2. Red arcs back slightly, trying to turn her uncontrolled ascent into a backflip. Far below we can see the trees, and just outside the trees is a clearing with a rocky ledge. Far below the rocky ledge is a river.
3. Red manages to get ahold of a tree branch as she starts her descent.
4. Red swings down on the tree branch, but we see a crack in the wood. There's a loud SNAP! (sound effect!) from where the branch breaks.
5-7: A series of smaller panels as Red pinballs down, bouncing off branches. It looks painful. The series of panels should end with Red hitting the ground and a bit of a dust cloud poofing up where she lands.
Panels 1 and 2 should be fairly big compared to the rest. 3 should be slightly smaller, followed by 4, then 5-7. This is to create the feeling of passage of time, with 1 and 2 being fairly slow panels. By the time she's falling to the ground, it should be quick actions, and look faster because gravity took hold.
PAGE 8
1. Red picks herself up off the ground. She's surrounded by trees again. She's wiping a bit of blood from her nose. She's covered in dirt and leaves. Give a hint of the werewolf's location in this panel, a slight glimpse of him through the break in the trees.
RED
Ow....
2. Red takes off at a run towards a break in the trees. We can just barely see the silhouette of the werewolf through the break.
3. We see that the werewolf is standing on the rocky ledge overhanging the river. Red's come out of the trees and is shoulder-checking the wolf in the back.
4. Red must have hit the wolf pretty damn hard, because in this panel we see the two have gained quite a bit of air. Her impact threw the two of them up and off the ledge quite a distance.
PAGE 9
1. The wolf is flailing in an uncontrolled descent. Red is just above him, looking much more in control. This is a chance to play with that whole "superhero cape" thing as she comes down. Her arms are up slightly, her knees tucked a bit. However you want to draw it, she's coming down in control, but the wolf isn't.
2. There's a big splash as the wolf hits the water. Red's just above him.
3. Under the water, we see Red on the back of the wolf.
4. Red wraps her cloak around the wolf's head.
PAGE 10
1-3 There is a fierce struggle between Red at the wolf, but Red won't let go. She keeps her cloak over the wolf's head and holds tight. She's straining to hold her breath. Bubbles coming from under the wolf's head under the cloak suggest he's not doing the same.
4. Red surfaces and gasps for air.
PAGE 11
1. Red pulls herself out of the river. She's soaked, battered, bruised, but alive. We can see the wolf's dead body washing down the river.
RED
You take away my gun, I take away your air.
2. Red approaches the rocky face that leads up to the ledge and the trees.
3. She begins to climb the rocky face.
4. Red hauls herself up over the ledge.
5. Red walks into the trees.
6. Red retrieves her revolver.
PAGE 12
1. A quaint little coffee shop in a downtown cultural district. It's about mid-day. People are milling about, wasting time and spending money. A guy with a guitar does his street performer thing.
Melissa is seated at a table on the patio of the coffee shop. A big glass window nearby lets us see inside. Melissa's busy watching the cute guitar player. There's a steaming cup of coffee just in front of Melissa.
2. Same as panel 1. A shadow is cast across Melissa from just out of her field of vision. It doesn't have to be behind her, she just shouldn't be able to see who it is.
MELISSA
Hello, Red.
3. Red sits down in the chair opposite Melissa. Instead of her cloak, she's in a red trenchcoat-like coat.
RED
How is it you always know?
MELISSA
You smell like wet dog.
4. Melissa takes a sip of her coffee.
RED
Funny. So.
MELISSA
So?
RED
Rumor says another house got burned down.
5. Melissa sets the cup down and raises a brow at Red.
MELISSA
Oh? That sounds bad. Was anyone hurt?
RED
I know it was you. Everyone knows it was you. It's always you.
6. Melissa sits back in her chair. She's got a nonchalant attitude, and seems to be blowing the issue off.
MELISSA
You seem a little upset, Red.
PAGE 13
1. Red leans forward with her elbows on the table. She's staring right at Melissa, who is glancing away.
RED
So. Bugs?
MELISSA
Bugs.
2. Red keeps the same position. Melissa looks back at her.
MELISSA
I've never seen anything like it, Red. I went in to clean out a nest. Rumor said the house was infested with eggs, standard job. Go in, clean out the nest, go home.
I expected a little bit of a fight. Usually it's two or three really big spiders, about the size of dogs. I've even seen one the size of a car.
But this was something else.
I expected a little bit of a fight. Usually it's two or three really big spiders, about the size of dogs. I've even seen one the size of a car.
But this was something else.
3. Melissa has her hand around the base of the coffee cup, like she's thinking about picking it up. She stares at it as she speaks.
MELISSA
I'd burned two of the egg sacks. When the drones rushed me, I took them out the same way I always do. And then this guy comes down the stairs.
I hadn't seen him when I did my search of the house, so I was a bit surprised when he walked in. I told him to stay back, and that everything was going to be ok. I pointed out the big ass spiders and said I was there to clean them out.
Then he rushed me.
I hadn't seen him when I did my search of the house, so I was a bit surprised when he walked in. I told him to stay back, and that everything was going to be ok. I pointed out the big ass spiders and said I was there to clean them out.
Then he rushed me.
4. Melissa withdraws her hand, leaving the coffee sitting on the table. Red's still leaning forward, listening to Melissa.
MELISSA
We scrapped for a bit. The guy was faster than hell, and his fists were like anvils. He took out a chunk of wall like it was butter.
I got in a few good punches. Then all of a sudden he opens his mouth and leaps at me. For a second all I saw were fangs.
RED
Vampire?
MELISSA
No, like spider fangs. It was like the spider was inside him, riding him. Driving him. Like the spider just crawled right inside his body and took it for a ride. It was sick.
I got in a few good punches. Then all of a sudden he opens his mouth and leaps at me. For a second all I saw were fangs.
RED
Vampire?
MELISSA
No, like spider fangs. It was like the spider was inside him, riding him. Driving him. Like the spider just crawled right inside his body and took it for a ride. It was sick.
5. Red picks up Melissa's coffee and takes a drink.
MELISSA
Hey, that's mine. Get your own damn coffee.
PAGE 14
1. Red sets the cup down in front of Melissa
RED
Missy, I think it's about time you thought about quittin' the hunt.
MELISSA
That's a little pot and kettle for you, isn't it? How can you tell me to stop when you still do it.
RED
RED
Different stories.
2. Red is leaning on the table again. The elbow of one arm is on the table, but her hand is raised. She's pointing a finger at Melissa.
RED
You scare me, Missy. You don't know when to quit. You got no regard for others' safety. Hell, you'd just as soon blow up a house to clear it out.
I know what happened when you were a kid. I know it makes life hard, and you think you gotta protect everyone else. But it happened years ago, Missy.
I know what happened when you were a kid. I know it makes life hard, and you think you gotta protect everyone else. But it happened years ago, Missy.
3. Melissa has stood up and is turning to leave. She has her head lowered. Her lips are twisted down into a frown. She's trying not to look weak, trying not to show that Red has hurt her.
MELISSA
Whatever. Thanks for understanding.
RED
All I'm sayin' is that maybe your debts are paid.
RED
All I'm sayin' is that maybe your debts are paid.
4. Melissa has walked away from the table without a word to Red, and without her coffee. Red is frowning as she watches her friend walk off.
5. Red takes a drink of the coffee.
PAGE 15
1. Establishing shot of a city park at night. A few small, heavily wooded areas dot the landscape. A bike trail runs through the park. There's a lake with a few bridges over narrow streams. The park is surrounded by the city.
2. Two boys are cautiously sneaking off a path, crawling under some low tree branches. One of the boys should be wearing a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. Boy number one glances back at his friend as he pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.
BOY 1
Make sure nobody's watching.
3. The second boy pauses to glance back behind them. His friend is out of view, already gone into the darkness of the tree cover.
4. Satisfied that nobody spotted them, the second boy slips under the branches and into the hiding spot.
5. We're inside a small circle within the trees. The second boy is crawling out from under the branches. He's looking down at the pack of cigarettes, which his hand has landed on.
BOY 2
Kenny?
Kenny?
PAGE 16
This page is a full page shot of the second boy in the process of standing up. We're seeing this from just behind him. His friend is pinned by a large wolf spider, about the size of a large dog. A second spider is overhead in the branches, obviously focused on the second boy. There is a bit of webbing in the branches as well.
What we're going for here is the "moment in time" shot common in thrillers and paranormal mysteries. Rather than the suggestion of motion, this should be a single moment of discovery frozen in time. Just a thought. If you have another take on it, let me know.
PAGE 17
1. Missy is wrapped in a towel in front of a sink and mirror. She's drying her hair with a second towel.
2. Melissa clutches her chest with her right hand. Her right elbow is on the sink counter, barely holding her up. Her left hand is fumbling through one of the drawers below the sink.
3. Close up shot of Melissa's hand going for a syringe and medicine bottle in the drawer. There's some cotton swabs and bandages in there too.
4. Close up on a pained expression on Melissa's face.
MELISSA
Oh god....
Oh god....
6. Melissa is collapsed on the bathroom floor. The drawer is sticking out, pulled down slightly. The toiletries that were on the sink are knocked all over. The syringe is on the floor near her hand. We shouldn't be able to tell for sure if it is full or empty.
to be continued.....
PAGES 18+
The following pages will be concept art and promotional material.
The Untold and all related characters are copyright 2006 Devon A. Weir
